August 5, 2011

The IPhone story

So this summer my family decided to vacation in the U.S. We wanted to explore New York and Washington D.C. mostly, but figured we'd stop in Virginia as well. New York was as amazing as ever. After a day of exploring, it was clear to me that the best place to buy an iPhone would be from Harlem. So I jumped on an up-town bus tour, and got off at the corner of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King blvd. and immediately began scanning the area for what I was looking for: hustlers. Now, I wouldn't call myself cheap, but I am thrifty. I can smell a good deal from miles away, and I consider my knowledge of "the game" to be immaculate, hence I don't get hustled. Upon finding my group of hustlers, I confidently strode up to the one with the biggest set of grills (read: dentures with diamonds) and asked if he was "dealing" (correct slang when dealing with hustlers lets them know that you know the game) iPhones. He shifted his eyes and closed his hands, but nodded very discretely.

Seems I was in luck.

He took me to an average-looking Honda and opened the trunk. Half-expecting to be a trap, my eyes lit up at the sight of an iPhone box that appeared to be new. I reached in and grabbed the box, opened it and pulled out the glistening iPhone which shone brilliantly amongst the grills of fellow hustlers. I pictured myself stroking the glassy surface ever-so gently.

Quickly, the grilled hustler brought me back down to reality and demanded five bills (one bill is $100). I bartered for $400, threatening to deal with another hustler. Reluctantly, he agreed. I believe I laid my game down pretty well.

Leaving the barbecue (pun: there were so many grills) with my smashing new iPhone, I went back to the hotel. The rest of my vacation was a blur I thought I'd only vaguely remember with the aid of photos. However, it appears as if my cockiness may have caught up with me.

I was just enjoying a placid afternoon of single-player Jenga, when suddenly my iPhone informs me that I have one missed call. I check the number: "unknown". Strange? Somewhat. I pushed the thought aside and continued setting up the Jenga. The iPhone rang. "Unknown".

My fingers trembling, I answered the phone.

For seconds that seemed like minutes there was a long pause.

Then a voice. A New-York-grills-in-your-mouth voice spoke.

"You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air".

Without hesitation I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the licence plate said “FRESH” and it had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could tell that this cab was rare, but I said "Nah, forget it. Yo Homes, to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to a house at about 7 or 8, and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo Homes, smell ya later." I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne, I was the Prince of Bel-Air.

June 29, 2011

AWAR - Nuclear (prod. by Alchemist)

I don't know who this cat is, but it's a dope track.
Whoever rule the kingdom, you get your palace crashed
You muhfuckers DOOMed like I'm rockin a metallic mask

Album cover + tracklist: Kendrik Lamar - Section80

JULY 2ND!! I'm definitely gonna cop this when it drops. If you're still sleeping on Kendrik Lamar it's time to wake up!

1. Fuck Your Ethnicity (prod. by THC)
2. Hol' Up (prod. by Sounwave)
3. ADHD (prod. by Sounwave)
4. No Makeup (Her Vice) ft. Colin Munroe (prod. by Sounwave)
5. Tommy's Song (Her Evils) (prod. by THC)
6. Chapter Six (prod. by Tommy Black)
7. Ronald Reagan Era (His Evils) (prod. by Tae Beast)
8. Poe Man's Dreams (His Vice) ft. GLC (prod. by Willie B)
9. The Spiteful Chant ft. Schoolboy Q (prod. by Sounwave, Dave Free)
10. Chapter Ten (prod. by THC)
11. Keisha's Song (Her Pain) ft. Astro Bot (prod. by Tae Beast)
12. Rigamortis (prod. by Willie B, co-prod. by Sounwave)
13. Kush & Corinthians (His Pain) ft. Bj the Chicago Kid (prod. by Wyldfire)
14. Members Only (prod. by Tommy Black)
15. Ab-Soul's Outro (prod. by Terrace Martin)
16. HiiiPoWeR (prod. by J. Cole)

Ghostface Killah, Sean Price and Trife Diesel - Laced Cheeba

This is off the upcoming Wu-Tang compilation, Legendary Weapons. It's the follow-up to the Chamber Music project that most people thought was better than 8 Diagrams. This drops July 26th. On a side note, Rae said a new Clan album is in the works!

June 27, 2011

RZA ft. Reverend William Burke - Robbery (prod. by RZA)

^ Lol great picture huh? Some new RZA for Wu Wednesdays!

Video: Rick Ross ft. Lil Wayne - 9 Piece [Remix]


Method Man on NY Ink, gets a Killa Bee tat

Wth... Now Freeway reviews Cars 2

Even though I have no idea why these keep poppin up, I gotta say this is pure entertainment. Freeway digs deep into Cars 2, even talks about shit he learned from the semi-retarded tow truck hahaha.

KRS-One reviews Bad Teacher

Yea, I don't know either. He claims it's a good movie and it's actually positive for teachers (like himself).

Video: Freddie Gibbs + Statik Selektah ft. Smoke DZA, Chace Infinite - Keep It Warm For Ya

One of my favourite tracks off this EP. It was filmed while they were doing the UStream thing.